


What We Keep In The Dark

by Agentrogers17



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adorable Newt Scamander, Angst, Body Image, Break Up, F/M, Fluff, Healers, Hurt Theseus Scamander, Idiots in Love, Injury, Misunderstandings, Protective Theseus Scamander, References to Depression, Secret Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agentrogers17/pseuds/Agentrogers17
Summary: Having a relationship for two years but no one knowing would make every woman insecure and suspicious, will Theseus be able to clean the mess he created?
Relationships: Newt Scamander & Theseus Scamander, Theseus Scamander & Reader, Theseus Scamander/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	What We Keep In The Dark

"Are you sure you are feeling alright?" I heard (Y/N)'s honeyed voice, lifted my head to watch her soft round figure. She was wearing a bell skirt covering her plump legs down to her thick ankles, and an ivory shirt that was tucked into it, she looked curved and beautiful—her soft (H/C) hair pinned behind her head. 

"I am," I nodded, flexing my arm, trying my bandages that she wrapped around my shoulder. She glanced at me, eyes full of worry, I extended an arm to her and pulled her towards myself, trapping her body between my legs, resting my hands on her plump hips. Even sitting, I was taller than her, which I liked—seeing her looking up to meet my eyes, the soft blush covering her face. 

"I was worried, Theseus," she exhaled, resting her forehead on my non-injured shoulder, I pulled her closer from the small of her back, kissing her hair.

"I know, I am sorry, my love," I whispered, enjoying the way her meaty arms wrapped themselves around my torso, careful not to hurt me, "I am being careful, I promised you that, I intend to keep that promise. But, it was a moment of distraction."

"I love you too much to lose you Theseus," she whispered, cupping my cheek softly, her thumb caressing my cheekbone, her forehead finding a place against my temple. Her nose gently pocking the side of my cheek, her lips firm on the edge of my jaw.

"I love you," I whispered, tightening the grip around her waist, enjoying how her flesh moulded under my touch, how soft and shapely she was, "I love you, more than anything and anyone. More than any man has ever loved a woman. More than the whole universe."

"I need to go, These," She whispered, pressing series of kisses on my jaw, cheek and finally lips. Her soft lips perfectly fitting with mine, tasting sweet from the balm she rubbed on them. 

"Stay a few minutes more," I begged, knowing she couldn't.

"I can't, darling. You know I can't. They will get suspicious. I already spent so much time alone with you."

"You are mine."

"In secret, Theseus. I am yours in secret. In public, I am the Ministry's medic."

"I am sorry," I whispered, knowing it was my fault. I asked her to keep this under covers. I asked her to stay silent about our relationship. It seemed like a good idea at that moment, I still was on the first weeks of mt position as Head Auror, and didn't want a new relationship to make me look soft. And now, two years later, she still shied away from me when someone else was present, she still averted her doe eyes from me when our gazes found each others' in a crowded room, she still refused to go on public dates even if it was in another country. And I hated what I made. I hated to make her feel like a dirty secret. But I still was too much of a coward to apologise and make things better. To make her feel better. She gave me one last peck and exited the room, and I couldn't tear my eyes away from where she exited seconds ago. Already missing her touch on my body, already feeling cold now that I was without her. I sighed and put my shirt and jacket back on, preparing to leave as I knew I was to be sent home. I couldn't find her on my way out, even though I lingered many times at random spots of the corridor, searching for her round figure and gorgeous face. 

***

I already started cooking when she arrived. She refused to move in with me, scared to give away our relationship. But she would drop by many times a week, or I would visit her flat, enjoying her presence all over it, her aura lingering in every corner of every room. She looked tired, but I knew it wasn't physical, she was drained emotionally, most of it because of me. 

"Stay here tonight," I pleaded, even before she could take off her coat.

"Hello, to you, too," she gave me a small smile, taking off her shoes, her height shorter now, putting a smile on my lips. My beautiful, soft, curvy, short woman. Well, she wasn't particularly short, but I was tall, and she looked amazingly short next to me. 

"I just missed you," I confessed, "I need to cuddle you tonight, and I know you need it, too."

"Why did you cook all by yourself? How is your shoulder?" she asked, moving to me.

"I had a terrific healer. I am doing great. And making a soup with pasta is not manual labour."

"Still," she started, but I interrupted her with a firm kiss on her soft lips, holding onto her side, an arm firm around her back.

"Go, change into something more comfortable, or just take off these, just get comfortable. I will prepare the table," I said, pressing a kiss on her forehead, tapping her bum to send her towards the bedroom. 

She returned five minutes later, swimming in one of my larger t-shirts, covering her down to the middle of her thighs, beautiful girl. We ate silently, I tried to engage her into small talk, but her eyes were focused on the middle of the table, she wouldn't look at me, her head somewhere else, somewhere far away. A worry started growing on the pit of my stomach, she looked sad. She looked broken. And I couldn't stop thinking, I was the cause.

"My love," I whispered. She didn't look at me, just hummed softly, "Are you feeling okay? Is everything alright?" I could see her tense with my question, her fingers gripping the hem of the t-shirt as if to ground herself, get strength from it. 

"I think we should break up," she whispered, eyes still down, "I think this is not working."

"What?" I asked, my voice breaking at the thought. No, this was working. No, we couldn't break up, I couldn't live without her.

"I am sorry, Theseus, but I don't want to be with you anymore."

"I can change. We can fix it, just, just tell me what to do my love. Just tell me how to?"

"I don't want to fix this, Theseus. I don't want this. I can't do this anymore. I just want to be happy. I want you to be happy."

"I am happy you are the only thing I want from this life darling. Please, don't give up on us. Please give us one more chance."

"I can't Theseus. I am tired. I can't pretend to be happy anymore. I can't cry myself to sleep anymore, Theseus. I don't have the strength to do so."

"I love you," I sobbed, down on my knees in front of her, hugging her legs, pressing small kisses on her knees, "I love you, I love you, I love you." I kept repeating like a prayer, desperate to make her stay, desperate not to let her go. She looked defeated, eyes hollow but dry, she wasn't happy. She was sad. It wasn't a bump in our relationship; it wasn't even about our relationship about. She had to go because this relationship was draining her, and this was her breaking point. I did this to her. 

"Please, (Y/N), just tell me what to do."

"Let me go Theseus," she whispered, it wasn't an order, it wasn't a request it was a plea. The raw pain in her voice made me drop my hands from around her knees. I took a shaly breath watching her getting up from her chair and moving to gather her things. She looked at me one last time before she apparated away, and then she was gone. And I only could think of why. What did I do wrong? How did I hurt her so much? How?

***

It has been two weeks since the day she broke up from me. It has been two weeks since the last time I saw her. I knew she was in the Ministry. I would hear a few of her friends mention her, but she never stepped foot to my floor anymore. And I couldn't focus, on anyone or anything. Every attempt to write would end up with a doodle of her sleeping in my bed, or scribbling of her name. Every night I saw her, in my dreams, in the nightmares where she would leave, where she would cry, where she would be gone, and it was cold. It was cold all over my house. I hated that house, now that everything was ugly without her in there. I found one of her velvet hair ties in my bathroom. It was a slim thing, dark forest green, soft. It was the last thing I had of her, and I wasn't thinking about giving it up. I wore it around my wrist every day, every night. I was only taking it off during the shower, not to harm it, like I harmed our relationship. Like I made her cry. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the cold night air—cigarette in my hand, careful not to let the ashes fall on the hair tie. I never was a smoke addict, but since she left, that was the only thing I was doing. 

I couldn't live like this. I couldn't breathe like this. I was distracted from my thoughts with a knock on my door. I couldn't ignore the small drop of hope down inside my chest, what if it was her. What if she returned? Then my gaze focused on the emerald band around my wrist, what if she came to take it? I wasn't ready to say goodbye to the last piece of her that I was holding onto with my whole existence. I went to open the door and met my younger brother's timid face. 

"Theseus! Are you alright?" he asked, worry etched on his freckled face.

"Yeah, yeah I am alright. Would you like to come inside?" I asked, opening the door wider, letting him step in.

"Since," he looked around, "when do you smoke?"

"Sometimes," I said, moving to make tea, to escape from the conversation. 

"Mother asked me to check on you," he said, softly, "She said you weren't answering her owls and it was unusual for you to not write to her over two weeks. She is worried."

"I was a bit busy," I lied.

"Theseus," he said hesitantly, "What happened?"

"I happened," I said, not being able to hold my tongue, "I happened and ruined everything. I ruined the best thing in my life."

"I know we don't do this usually but," he said, playing with the sleeves of his shirt, "Do you want to talk?"

"I am in love," I said, "Have been for a while now, treasured her but also was an idiot and I hurt her. And now she is gone. And here I am wallowing in my mess."

"What did you do?"

"I don't know."

"Theseus? I understand you are distraught right now but if you know you hurt her. You must know how, and I don't remember you having a girlfriend. Was this a new relationship?"

"It was a two-year relationship," I said, the words leaving a bitter taste in my mouth, 'was'. Not anymore, in the past. I had a two-year relationship; it would stay a two-year relationship because I killed it before it could grow older.

"A two-year?" Newt stuttered.

"Yeah."

"Theseus, I am really confused right now. You had a girlfriend for two years? And I hear it after you two broke up? Does mother know?"

"No," I whispered.

"Theseus, I know we are not close, but I didn't think we were this apart."

"No one knew. Except me and (Y/N). You are the first one who is hearing this," I said with a bitter laugh. I was announcing my relationship, and it was after it ended after the damage was done. 

"Why? Why would you hide her? Why would you do this to her?"

"I am a fool," I said, "I am a bloody knobhead."

"There has to be a reason."

"It was the first month of my Head Aurorship and I," I took a deep breath, her face flashing in my mind, the shy smile she had when I asked her for our first date, "I was scared our relationship would affect my new position."

"For two years?"

"After a while, we got used to it, the secrecy."

"Theseus, have you ever thought about what she must have felt? Being kept in secret?"

"I," 

"I would think that you were ashamed of me if it was me," he said honestly, "I would feel like a dirty secret."

***

Now that I knew what I did, and how I hurt her, the guilt was eating me alive. I wanted to apologise. I wanted to beg her to forgive me. But she was nowhere to be found. I tried to ask some of her friends, but whenever I uttered her name, they would turn their gazes away, a worry painting their faces. It was over a month now, since the day she ended things, and I had to see her. I marched to the healer wing, determination keeping my head straight.

"Head healer Ohith!" I called the middle-aged woman.

"Head Auror Scamander," she greeted me.

"I wanted to ask about one of your healers (Y/N) (Y/L/N)."

"Oh," she said, sadness covering her face.

"Is everything alright with her? I haven't seen her in a while."

"Mr Scamander, your worry over my staff members, is praiseworthy, but (Y/L/N) is in a sensitive situation right now, and I am afraid I cannot share her personal health information."

"I beg you," I pleaded, my voice cracking, "I need to see (Y/N). I need her."

"Oh, you are the reason."

"Reason? Reason of what? What happened to (Y/N)?"

"(Y/N) has been hospitalised in St Mungo's, for three weeks now. She has been in a bad headspace for some time now, and I had to admit her to observatory professionals, to protect her."

"Protect her? From what?"

"Herself, Mr Scamander."

"Did she? Is she? Did she try something? Was she hurt? What happened?"

"I already shared, too much. I am afraid you'll need to speak with her if she can, of course. However, you need to know. You hurt her very badly. She already had a very low level of self-appreciation, and you did not only destroy it, but you also turned it into self-hatred."

***

I was holding onto a bouquet of red roses, clutching it, my hands shaking from anxiety. I wore the grey suit she loved, even brushed my hair the way she liked, her hair tie still tight around my wrist, grounding me.

"You are here for (Y/L/N), correct?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"It is not one of her good days," the nurse warned me, "She woke up crying, around 3 am, has been awake since. We couldn't make her eat anything yet; it has been three days now. She rarely eats, speaks even less. Maybe you'll affect her positively?"

"I hope so," I said, hating to hear how she was hurting herself because I pushed her mind into thinking that she wasn't worth anything.

She opened the door, letting me in, and my heart shattered at the sight that met me. My beautiful girl hollow, pale, sickly. A hospital gown covering her slimmer curves, she still was plump but didn't look as healthy and glowing as she used to. 

"Hello, my love," I whispered. Moving to her. Her (E/C) eyes, now hollow, met my eyes. She looked sad. She looked broken. I didn't even try to hold the tears rolling down my face.

"I missed you so much, darling. I missed you so, so much," I said kneeling in front of her, placing the roses on her lap, she caressed the petals of the roses. Her fingers were shaky and timid. 

"I am sorry, for everything, I didn't realise how I was hurting you. It took my little brother to throw it at my head, for me to realise what I did," she was watching me with a tired look on her beautiful face, "May I?" I asked, reaching for her hand, and held onto it as she nodded, her hand was cold to touch. The nurse wheeled a meal inside the moment I moved to sit next to (Y/N) on the bed. 

I picked up the soup and the spoon, looking at her. 

"You need to eat, my love," I whispered.

"I am fat," she said, voice raspy, probably not speaking in a long time.

"Doesn't mean you are not beautiful. Fat, plump, buxom, round, chubby, pick a word all of them are adjectives that describe a human body, but none of them is insults, just words to describe that you are softer than average. The words I would choose to describe your body are curvaceous, voluptuous and gorgeous. And independent from your weight, you need to eat, for your body to function, my love."

"You were embarrassed of me, Theseus," she whispered, avoiding my gaze.

"Embarrassed of you? My love? Why would I be embarrassed of the most wonderful woman on this planet?"

"You didn't want anyone to know that you are dating the fat girl."

"No! Darling, no, never. Merlin, I am an idiot, aren't I?" I groaned, putting the soup aside, gripping her soft hands in mine, kissing her knuckles softly, "I never was or ever could be ashamed of you, I love you with all my heart, soul, body, mind, everything. I am in love with you. And you are the most beautiful woman in this universe, you are the perfect woman in my eyes, and nothing, nothing ever could change that," I said, squeezing her fingers, "I liked having you to me, not having to share you with anyone, pulling you into rooms, kissing you in secret, enjoying the thrill. Other than me being an idiot and a coward, it was the reason I wasn't eager to announce to the world. No one could take you away from me if they didn't know you were mine. And then, you know me, darling girl, you know I am a boring man, I like monotone daily life, I like routines. And after a while, our relationship, us being a secret, sneaking at the Ministry, having you all to myself at our houses. I got used to it, and it was selfish, it was piggish. And I was so lost in my own comfort. I forgot to think about how it could have made you feel like. I was happy, so happy because I had you and I forgot even to consider how it was affecting you. But never, do you hear me, never it was because I was ashamed of you. I could never be ashamed of you, especially because you are more curvaceous than most women, not when I love how you feel in my hands, how beautiful you look every time of every day."

"But," she hiccuped, I pulled her soft form to my chest, letting her sob the pain she had kept for so long. I pressed small kisses all over her head, rubbing her back softly. Hating the way I hurt her, hating the way I made her cry.

"I love you. I will always love you. And there is nothing, no one that can ever change the way I feel about you, that can change how much in love I am with you, and how your plush body makes me feel tingly all over," I smiled, squeezing her hip, she gave me a soft giggle. I lifted her face, a hand hooked under her chin, I looked at her teary eyes smiling at her, "Never doubt the depth of love I have for you, never."

"I love you, too, Theseus," she whispered.

"May I?" I whispered, caressing her soft cheek and she nodded, meeting my lips in the middle, letting me pour all the love I have into the kiss. It was the moment I decided, at the first chance I would show her off to the world, I would make her happiest anyone has ever been on this earth.

***

It was one, and a half month later now, she was fully healed, I managed to feed her enough to put the weight she lost back. We moved in together, to a bigger house together, buying it together. Everyone in the Ministry knew we were together; everyone knew she was mine. Tonight Newt was visiting us, just back from his trip to Spain, it was the first time they were to meet each other. I knew she was excited, but after telling everyone, Newt wasn't much of a worry for me. She and Newt were similar in their shyness and self-esteem issues, and I knew they would get along. Also, Newt was one of the kindest people I knew, and there was no way he could hurt her, ever. 

She was in a beautiful dress, teal one. That was tighter around her waist, highlighting the hourglass of her figure. I was stealing a kiss when we heard the knock on the door. I opened the door and pulled my little brother into a hug. 

"Newt, this is the pretty woman I told you about, (Y/N). (Y/N) my love, this is my brother, Newt Scamander."

"Hello," he said shyly. 

"It is nice to meet you," Newt said. After an awkward half an hour, Newt asked her if she wanted to see his case and they hit it off after that. 

***

"Come here," I whispered, pulling her to my chest by her thick waist. I kissed her bare shoulder, just in front of my mouth. 

"We need to get up, Theseus," she whispered, trying hard not to moan as I moved to her neck, inhaling the intoxicating smell radiating from her warmth. 

"No, we don't," I protested, "It is still early, and it is Saturday. I want to enjoy my girl in our bed this morning."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"You look edible," I whispered, moving lower to bite her tit softly. I found her bare bum after ruffling through the sheets. I squeezed her bum, caressing her inner thighs. I moved my lips lower and lower. The pudgy meat of her tummy, always so soft against my lips, I licked a stripe to her belly button, pressing small kisses to the stretch marks covering the sides of her stomach and hips. My hands were kneading thickness of her thighs, occasionally brushing her inner lips and clit with my fingertips. 

"Theseus," she moaned, I could feel her getting slicker and wetter, the more I took my time. I loved when we had hours to stay in bed. It gave me time to taste her, tease her, worship her. I loved when she gushed with her juices, how her want and her need showed themselves. 

"Yes, gorgeous?" I whispered, mouth centimetres from her core, I knew my breath was hitting her wet folds, I knew from the way she squirmed under me. 

"Fuck me already," she moaned, making me laugh.

"I thought you wanted to get up?"

"Theseus Scamander, I swear to Merlin," she started, but before she could finish, my mouth was on her sweet cunt. Her back curled upwards. Her chest pushed to the air, I pressed a hand on her belly, pressing her down, to keep her hips in place, and eat her out properly. One of her legs found its way around my back, heel pressing down to my arse, I knew she was close, I knew her body too well. I let her ride the pleasure, letting her hump my face, enjoying her cum covering my chin and neck. She was breathing hard when she fell flat. I kissed her thighs and tummy—resting my head on one of her tits, playing with the other. 

"Are you good, my love?" I smirked.

"It's my turn for breakfast," she pushed me off herself, and down on my back. Her fingertips were caressing my torso, nails scratching my ribs gently. She straddled my thigs, her tits brushing against my cock as she bent to kiss me. One hand flat against the middle of my chest, the other found my cock. Thumb softly rubbing the head, I groaned at her tight grip.

"Fuck, darling."

"How the tables have turned, huh?" she smiled, her hair wild, eyes shining with lust, she moved back, leaning down to take it in her mouth. Her warm, wet and tight mouth. Her head bobbing up and down, taking me as far as she can, I could feel my toes curling, bloody hell this woman made me feel heaven. My hands found their way into her hair, not to control her moves, but to feel her there, touch her, confirm that it was her that was bringing me this close to madness. 

"I am close, love, fuck," I whispered, and gave in into the tingling sensation covering my whole body as I let myself go into her little mouth. It was me, heaving, under her now. As she lifted her head, giggling, as she licked her finger after scooping the cum dripping down her chin. 

"Fuck," I whispered. She dropped to my side, laying next to me, I reached for her mouth and kissed her, making both of us moan at our taste in each others' lips. 

"We should get married," I whispered, "I love you. And I need to be yours in every way, legal included."

"I love you, too, Scamander. But currently, I'm in the mood for a nap rather than a wedding, my love. We can get married after a nap."

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think!  
> I am open for requests and ideas!


End file.
